So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
