he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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