I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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