im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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