I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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