I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
