You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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