Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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