So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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