You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
