yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
