I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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