whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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