So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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