so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
