Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
