umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
