I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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