just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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