I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
