The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
