I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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