"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dear god my vagina.
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