she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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