Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i will never coherently bang her
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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