you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
