I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
