I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
