I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
