This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
