I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
