Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he was CRYING into my vagina
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
