you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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