i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
