And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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