we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
