Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
