i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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