he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
