i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
