so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
