i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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