Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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