thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
