why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
