Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
