I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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