Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
