Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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