i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
